Crazy & Funny

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How to Rid Yourself of Annoying People

In this interesting planet we live in that is populated with all types of people, there are two special types that seem to be born for the purpose to annoy everyone around them. While type one, “the accidental annoyer” does this unintentionally, type two, ‘the purposeful annoyer” gets on people’s nerves simply for the sheer sick and twisted joy of it. Even though the purposeful annoyer is hands-down the worst and most difficult kind, they can still be dealt with.

What It Takes to Eradicate the Problem

Of course, making them go away and leave you alone for good is not a quick and easy process. Much like a household pest problem involving ants, roaches, or mice, you will have to attack the problem hard and swift before they know what hits them. It will take all of your determination, cunning, and intelligence to effectively rid yourself of their tiring presence in your life. Here are various methods you can utilize during your next encounter with that annoying jerk who sits in the cubicle adjacent to yours or that irritating friend of a friend who always tags along with your social group.
Annoying People
Sizing Up Your Adversary
You need to first figure out if that aggravating person in your life realizes he or she gets on your nerves because some methods of riddance work better on the accidental type while others are more suited for the purposeful kind. During your next annoying encounter, simply ask them if they realize how annoying they actually are. People who could care less will either laugh in your face or pester you further. If they seem concerned or upset by your feelings, this might be enough to get them to shut-up once in for all; however, you will probably not get the benefit of rare occurrence.
Set Up Surveillance
Go James Bond on that annoying jerk who works with you and start observing them while they go about their mind-numbing, daily routine. The goal of doing this is to discover their dislikes or weaknesses. For example, if he or she is known to get watery eyes and a post-nasal drip whenever they smell strong perfume, you should not only douse yourself with it throughout the day, but also buy the lotion to slather on and the body wash form to bathe with in order to maximize their suffering. Knowing that your annoyer is suffering will also bring you the added bonus of private amusement.
Ignore Them
Follow your mom’s pearl of wisdom and ignore the jerk, which is an ideal strategy for quieting people who seek a reaction out of their victims. The mentality of this person is childish and self-centered and once they realize you do not care about any of the verbal diarrhea that comes out of their mouth, the purposeful annoyer will move on to their next victim. However, this requires a boat load of patience on your part.
“Ugh Ugh” I’m Sick
If you need to buy yourself some time because you have hit your maximum level of patience, pretend to be sick. There is nothing like making random coughing and groaning noises coupled with a pained look and a comment such as, “I think I caught my girlfriend’s flu bug,” to make your annoyer run in the opposite direction. Of course, you will have to “recover” eventually so this is only a short-term solution.
Get Downright Nasty, Crude, and Rude
If push comes to shove, do not be afraid to take drastic measures, even if that means engaging in certain behaviors that will make you seem like a disgusting jerk with no manners. Whenever they come near you, belch loudly without covering your mouth, pass gas, dig for nose gold, let out a dramatic sigh, or put your hands under your armpits, remove your hands, and then make a show of loudly sniffing them. Whatever it takes to get them away from you!
One or a combination of these methods are bound to work for your annoying person problem as long as you keep up your hard work long enough. They will eventually get the message that you do not like them and you will do anything to aggravate them to the point where they are no longer having fun at your expense.

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