Crazy & Funny

A blog about all crazy and funny things

5 Bad Tanning Disasters

Ah, tans. If you don’t happen to be from a certain ethnic background, the only time you’re going to be able to get a tan is either on the beach, out on the back yard, or in the tanning studio. of course, there’s the wonder of spray on tans, which have been letting fair beauties like Paris Hilton get their tan on even when there’s not a drop of sun in the sky — of course, when you have money like Paris Hilton, you can always just fly to somewhere that does have sun. But hey, you get the idea.
So, in the search to be funny, we had to come up with 5 tanning disasters for your amusement. We know there’s more out there, but some of these are just plain bad.
Now, before you rush in to defend your favorite celebrity, just remember this: making fun of people is our job. That, and when you’re making millions, somebody should be able to give you a good fake tan. It’s quite possible to have a natural glow — without looking like you’re volunteering to be Bugs Bunny’s favorite item. We’re just keeping it real.
1. Channing Tatum

How sad! We love Channing Tatum, but this look is totally a no go for him. Why should he get skipped over just because he’s hot? It’s because he’s so attractive that he really should know better. If he was just some office clerk that was trying to go Hollywood on everyone, we might give him a pass — hey nerds are cute too — but it’s Channing Tatum. This is an actor that really needs to look in the mirror. If you look around his eyes, you can really tell the difference in skin tones right there. That fake bake isn’t fooling anyone, Mr. Tatum!
2. Lindsay Lohan

It’s too easy to pick on LiLo. By the way, did you know that she wants to only go by Lindsay? She doesn’t think she needs a last name anymore. Sorry, you’ll always be LiLo for us…LiLo.
How will we ever find you again? Oh wait, we can watch for the girl with the beautiful eyes, the beautiful smile…and the horrendous fake tan. Lindsay, the only way to climb out of C-list status and rise again (kinda like the South, incidentally) is to make sure that you watch the tanning. You want “natural glow”, not “super carrot happy time”. We’re just trying to help, LiLo. Even if you drop the infamous last name, that tan will follow you forever!
3. Christina Aguilera

Now, you know that Christina knows better. Forget the genie in the bottle — let the bad tan go! We’re not sure if this is spray on tan, or a trip to the tanning studio gone badly. Either way, this is just way too dark for beautiful Christina. Considering that she is also of Latin heritage, you would think that she wouldn’t want to overdo the tan anyway. Even without the tan, she’s no Morticia Adams in terms of skin complexion. It’s a real shame that she’s going overboard on the tanner when she’s actually such a beautiful woman.
Christina’s style is always in flux — she’s trying to make a return to old Hollywood, but then there’s this Burlesque business… that’s nice for a while but we miss the classier side of Christina Aguilera.
4. Victoria Beckham

Wow. Just wow. For one, this picture shows two things: Victoria’s horrendous tan, and the fact that Posh Spice might have gone a little too far in terms of trying to lose weight. She’s very skeletal looking to us, and that’s sort of unfortunate. It would be nicer if she would just gain a little weight — her body just has too many awkward angles. The dress could also take a trip to the garbage bin too, but we’re trying not to judge…much.
5. Valentino

OK, we admit it — we’re kind of soft when it comes to old men. That whole respect your elders thing and all that. Valentino is also the king of fashion. Don’t think so? Check this out:

That is too amazing. When you think that Valentino designs so many dresses with so much detail, and then you look at his horrible tanning incident…you kind of want to give him a pass.
Almost. We didn’t want to completely roast him, but a light toasting is necessary for this obvious fake tan. C’mon, Valentino — you’re a god among men in the fashion world, why not kick it up a notch on your own personal style. BAM!
Emeril jokes aside, this is a well rounded list of 5 tanning disasters we just had to let you know about. If we attacked your favorite celebrities…relax. They’re still alive. If a celebrity actually got cut every time a mockery post was published online, half of Hollywood would probably be dead by now — we’re looking at you, Charlie Sheen!
Still, if there’s a celebrity trainwreck we missed; do let us know in the comments. You never know — we might include yours next!

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