Jul 22

How to Better Control Yourself When Drinking Alcohol

By Crazy n Funny Posted in Stories
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Everyone wants to go out with their friends, drink a couple of beers or mixed drinks, and have a good time.  However, fun can quickly turn into an evening that crashes and burns if you do not learn how to better control yourself when drinking alcoholic beverages.  Being a responsible drinker is a quality that your friends, your family, and society as a whole will appreciate.

What Happens When You Consume Alcohol

When you consume alcohol, the substance is first absorbed via your small intestine and stomach.  And if your stomach is empty, the alcohol will be absorbed at a faster rate.  After the alcohol exits the small intestine, it moves to the liver, then the heart, the brain, the muscles, and the body tissue.  This process occurs at a quick pace, lasting only several minutes.  In most cases, the person who is drinking alcohol will experience pleasant, relaxing physical side effects.

However, the human body is not built to store alcohol, which means the liver will instead break the substance down.  First, the liver will transform alcohol into a toxic, organic, chemical compound known as acetaldehyde as well as a non-toxic sodium salt called acetate.  Both of these chemicals are further broken down to make water and carbon dioxide.

Typically, the liver will break down 90-95% of consumed alcohol while the rest is excreted through sweat, breath, and urine.  The rate in which your body will break down alcohol depends on several factors such as your gender, weight, and age.  However, the average alcohol break down time is one beverage every hour.

Tips to Controlling Yourself While Under the Influence of Alcohol

Nobody wants to be known as the guy who can not control himself when drinking.  The kind of guy who gets into bar fights, vomits in the parking lot, and generally makes a fool of himself.  Eventually, this guy will stop getting invites to places where alcohol will be served.  Prevent alcohol from killing your social life by following these tips.

Eat First–If you eat a healthy-sized meal before drinking alcohol, the partially digested food will assist the body with the alcohol absorption process and reduce the negative side effects caused by alcohol.  It is also recommended to nibble on light snacks periodically to continue slowing your body’s consumption of alcohol. Read more »

Jul 10

£200,000 Thrown From Car

By Crazy n Funny Posted in Stories
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During a police chase recently a Russian official threw £200,000 in high denomination notes, out of his car window in Moscow.

Boris Simonov was being chased by federal agents because him and his boss, Roman Postnikov had been accused of taking bribes and they wanted to capture and arrest them. They both work for Federal Fisheries Agency and it has been alleged that they took bribes from businessmen to allow them to get hold of an illegally back-dated contract to allow them to charge fishermen to use certain reservoirs on the outskirts of Moscow, to catch fish.

When the two officials were pursued by the police in Moscow along a very busy road, Boris Sominov crashed the Cadillac they were travelling in, reported to be worth seven million roubles, and then flung £200,000 worth of roubles, in large bundles, out of the window where it was blown around by the wind. He was trying to throw away the money, which presumably was the payment he had received for allowing the illegal contract through. It seemed that they were returning from a meeting with some businessmen when the federal security service agents chased and then arrested them.

The chase was televised and the state-run television First channel also showed footage of police collecting the rouble notes and dropping them in a cardboard from around the Moscow highway where the crash took place. Members of the public had also helped out and they had handed notes in that they had collected to the police. The notes were all of very high denominations and they were scattered alongside the thoroughfare where the crash had taken place. It also showed pictures of the two officials hand cuffed and lying on the road after the police arrested them. The car was shown, all smashed up, beside them.

Jul 10

Goldilocks Burglar Found Asleep in Bed

By Crazy n Funny Posted in Stories
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A blonde woman went in to an unlocked house and ate food from the fridge and feel asleep on a bed, before being caught by the house owners, in a Goldilocks style scenario.

The blonde woman, Vanessa Joy Long, who is 39 years old, was wearing her blonde hair in a ponytail when she was found asleep on the bed in the house in Christchurch, New Zealand. The home owner called the police as soon as they discovered that she was there. She had entered the house through the unlocked back door and drank alcohol and ate food from the fridge and then tried on some of the home owners clothes in the bedroom before falling asleep on the bed.

Afterwards she said that she could not remember doing anything in the house as she blacked out when she entered the building. She pleaded guilty at her hearing and has been bailed and will be sentenced on the first of September. The home owner is hoping to get £720 in damages to cover the cost of the food and drink that the blonde burglar consumed, as well as to cover damage that she did to the bedding and mattress.

The incident was paralleled to the story of ‘Goldilocks and The Three Bears’ where a blonde girl enters the unlocked bears house, eats food and then falls asleep, to later be discovered by the owners. In the story the police were not called but the bears chased her away and maybe this lady would have been better off had she been chased away as she stands to have to pay out quite a hefty amount of money in damages, should the court decide that she should cover the costs of the damage that she caused. This was certainly no fairytale ending for her.

Jul 09

Bus Joyride Stupidity

By Crazy n Funny Posted in Stories
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A double decker bus was stolen from a bus depot in Amesbury, Wiltshireon the 18th June 2010 by three hooded youths. Police were easily able to identify the thieves as they stupidly filmed their joyride on a mobile phone and then posted it on YouTube.

The film was called ’stolen bus solstice 2010 hoodies Amesbury’ and has now been viewed over 20,000 times by interested Internet users. It shows the end of the joyride where a girl was driving the bus with another boy and girl standing nearby. They were headed along the A435 in Amesbury and the bus then crashes in to some parked cars after hitting a tree. Their conversation made it very clear that they were driving a double decker bus and the guy filming then turns the camera on himself, making all of them clearly identifiable. Once the bus stopped they panicked and abandoned it, running down the road screaming and shouting.

The bus crash caused £30,000 pounds worth of damage during its 12 mile journey to both the bus, other buses at the depot and parked cars including a Volkswagon and a Honda.

Having clear pictures of all of the youths enabled the police to identify the culprits and they soon arrested the two 16 year old girls and 21 year old man who had taken the bus. The youths have all been bailed pending a later court date. The police later said that it was a reckless thing to do and could have ended up causing a lot more damage or even the loss of lives. Adding that it is a great skill to be able to drive such a big vehicle and it was likely that it was only the time of day that they decided to take it, that prevented a fatality.

Jul 09

Mayor loses trousers

By Crazy n Funny Posted in Stories
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The Lord Mayor of Leicester lost his trousers, in a very unfortunate incident, when he was visiting a local library recently.

Colin Hall, who has been the Lord Mayor of Leicester since being elected on the 27th May 2010, was obliged to apologise after the event which occurred when he was on the visit to Southfields library and his trousers became loose and fell down. The forty six year old, whose Mother was the mayoress of the area from 1999-2000 and whose father also served on the city council, was visiting the library summer showcase which had been organised locally by Global Education Leicester and Shire Organisation, when the very unfortunate incident took place. The event was organised to bring together teachers and educational facilities to help widen the understanding of global perspectives.

A spokes man for the city council apologised on behalf of the new mayor explaining that he was unaware that his trousers were loose until they fell down when he stood up to make the vote of thanks. He was not wearing a belt and so they were unable to stay up and provide the coverage he needed. The Lord mayor, who is using his first year of office to promote health and well being in the county and using Rosemary Conley to help him to lose weight, was worried that this incident may have caused offence to some of the people attending  the summer showcase, which included pupils from three local schools and wanted to assure them that he was very sorry and it certainly not something that he wanted to do again.

It was obviously not something that he wanted to happen and he was very humiliated by the unfortunate accident at the library. The spokesman passed on his deepest apologies to anyone who was offended by the incident.